Ugly Sweater

I love waking up late. It really sets my day off in the right way! So I woke up at 11:30 this morning. Awesome.

Today I hung out with a really good friend of mine. It was so awesome. I love having friends that are transparent and real Christians. It helps me be a real person. I love being able to discuss feelings on life without having to be super guarded and having someone tell you your going to hell because your a dirty rotten sinner. Its so refreshing and hard at the same time. It makes me want to take the things in my life and change them to be a better christian and that change is really really hard sometimes. So yeah--good hanging.

Tonight I am looking forward to the first annual ugly sweater party. It's going to be the last time everyone will be able to hang out before we leave to go back to college. Did you ever wonder what your parents were thinking when they dressed you? I do. While picking out my ugly sweater I realized why no one wanted to hang out in middle school. Are you kidding me...purple sweater with pink and yellow flowers. Come on.

The third chapter in "Searching for God Knows What?" was pretty good as well. He begins "Free Verses" by talking about how he likes Pauls and Johns writing styles in the Bible. He discusses how today people are just looking for formulas and quick fix guides and by reading the bible the same way we miss the major point of it. When we use Christian theology out of context to try and achieve the American Dream the entire meaning gets lost.

"Maybe if we stop reducing the text to formulas for personal growth we can read it as stories of imperfect humans having relations with a perfect God and come to understand the obvious message He is communication to mankind."

That quote was particularly interesting to me because I had just spent some time reading scripture and was trying to find a key verse to live by this week. Ha. Its really funny, throughout reading this book (the three chapters I have read) I have that day dealt with something Donald Miller addresses. Funny.

In Pieces?

So today was pretty sweet...I got my very own copy of Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell (awesome book), I also got a copy of Garden State--my favorite movie, and I went to Cold Stone. (There are pluses to hanging out with your parents)

Last night was so much fun. It was girls night out so me and a bunch of friends went out to Starbucks. No lie I laughed so hard that I cried. Tears were running down my face. Did you flush your dog town the toilet? Its this big. In Pieces? Think of dying puppies. (Okay that kinda sounds morbid but you would have had to been there and in Australia with us) So..after that we went back to fishes and took pictures for like an hour. Again laughing so stinken hard I almost cried. We took a family photo by the Christmas tree. Yup we are weird. It was so good to hang out with the girls again because they are all awesome.

This morning was interesting. I am really not a morning person. So I woke up early to go to the Hub and ended up having a really productive day. I got all of my video stuff for fellowship done and all the Boston Rally footage done. Sweet.

The third chapter in "Searching for God Knows What" was amazing. I am loving this book. It is really shedding some light on how I am feeling. He is so honest about life. I think he talks about what everyone deals with but is too afraid to talk about. In Feet of Trees--What do we really want? he talks about how in general all people want in life is to feel wanted.

"You come to realize there is a sub-language people are talking that has nothing to do with ethics, fashion, or politics, but it really has to do with feeling important and valuable."

Its just so refreshing for a Christian to say 'hey we are human too and we tick like everyone else'. For someone to finally say that sometimes, if not most of the time, we do things because of what we want others to think. In that light he carried it into real Christianity, not just cheesy kid faith. He talked about how Christ is what we really want. Isn't the gospel relevant to what we need--It's all about relationships....Jesus is always talking about love and people and relationships. Jesus provides us with that one relationship. The proud father I love you all the time one. It just left me with some really profound thoughts on faith...seeing I find I live most of my life trying to make others happy.

Good Deal.

Logos5 Pictures

This is a picture taken from the back of the main rally area. If you look to the left you can see the production set-up. I sat next to the person in the orange shirt. If you look really close you can see the back of my head.



This is a picture taken from my point of view (although i didn't take the picture) Kevin is on the left doing his director thing and then Greg is behind him. Greg was the main video mixer guy for the conference. We had two live cameras, overlays, computers, and Video so he had his work set out for him. He is definitely an awesome guy and very good at what he does.



This is one camera guy. His name is Scott. He is a youth pastor over in the Penn-Jersey district and ran the main camera for the show. He also helped with some other graphics throughout the conference.



This is the view from FOH (front of house).



This is a picture of Mike (the monitor board guy) and 2 of the guys from three season ant. Mike is the guy I spoke about before that I went out to lunch with. He is awesome and on top of that he does sound for the Sabres. Way Cool.



This is a picture from backstage at the Pillar show in Boston. I ran a live camera for the show so I got to be right up front with protection from security. It was one of the coolest experiences I have ever had.

hmmm..

"Relationships aren't the best thing, if you ask me. People can be quite untrustworthy, and the more you get to know them--by that I mean the more you let somebody know who you really are--the more it feels as though something is at stake. And that makes me nervous. It takes me a million years to get to know anybody pretty well, and even then the slightest thing will set me off. I feel it in my chest, this desire to dissociate. I don't mean to be a jerk about it, but that is how I am wired. I say this because it makes complete sense to me that we would rather have a formula religion than a relational religion. If I could, I probably would have formula friends because they would be safe.
I have this suspicion, however, that if we are going to get to know God, it is going to be a little more like getting to know a person than practicing voodoo. And I suppose that means we are going to have to get over this fear of intimacy, or whatever you want to call it, in order to have an ancient sort of faith, the same faith shared by all the dead apostles. " ---Donald Miller (From Searching For God Knows What....Chapter 2)

That first paragraph hit me like a ton of bricks. Kinda like an light bulb moment if ya know what I mean. That is so me. Everyone knows that is me. I have a really hard time trusting people because it seems once I do they always let me down. And when they do I fly off the handle and just want to dissociate myself with them and never look back. I don't really have anything profound to say beyond that. I can say in the few really really close relationships I do have where there has been let down and forgiveness it has made those relationships so much more valuable and precious to me. Some of the closest friends I have I would have lost if I just ran away like I wanted to (or if after I ran away they weren't willing to talk haha). I am learning more and more that relationships are hard but well worth it.

The second paragraph shed some light for me as well. Sometimes I forget that I have a "relationship" with God. It's not just some formula. It needs to be nurtured like any friendship. I need to spend time in his word to get to know him better. Its also not going to be a cakewalk. Is any true honest valuable relationship easy?

Premium

I have 22 minutes left on a render--therefore good time to do this:

Well today was pretty stinken cool. I had the opportunity to go out to lunch with a professional sound guy and Kevin. Dude this guy does sound for the Bills and the Sabres. How cool is that? Just another great opportunity to network and gain relationships with people. Its cool to see as well that these people are just normal people with families and everything else. It is also cool to see Christianity being played out in the work place. I guess I always thought guys that do sound for a profession were like super people or something. (yes, that sounds foolish but it is an honest thought).

Other than that same ol' same ol' . Do you ever just sit back and wonder if things will ever change? I need to put more faith in Isaiah 2:22 "Stop trusting in man, who has but breath in his nostrils of what account is he?" Putting my faith in man has always been a real struggle for me, and apparently it still is. There is always that real thought however that we are relational people and wondering why it hurts so bad if we know we need to depend on God alone. I don't know where I am going with this so I am going to stop while I'm ahead. Grace is an important part of the Christian faith and I know I'm not alone in this one.

Yeah so I just started this book "Searching for God Knows What" by Donald Miller the same writer as "Blue Like Jazz" I am really excited to read it. The first chapter was just kind of an intro but if the book is anything like "Blue Like Jazz" then maybe it will help me find what it is that I am looking for.

Well today was great. I woke up late which is my favorite thing to do. I then proceeded to go to the Hub which is always interesting. I love that place. I had a pretty laid back day. What can you do when its just the computer working and all you need to do is to baby sit it. Well it was, I guess hub cleaning day so I did my best to help out. It was really fun because I miss being there so much, just to do normal stuff was kinda cool. I love it when it is just chill there. That is the environment I want to work in someday for sure.

I had some more time to process Boston and had a little help as well. I love unpacking stuff like Boston after the fact because it helps me to learn from mistakes and get better. Stuff like that; true, honest feedback really helps me to try and better myself. I am so glad that I have friends that I allow to walk me through that kind of stuff. I think I would be a pretty rough person to be around if I didn't have friends I could trust.

So in hindsight as for Boston I only have one regret. That would be the first night because I got a little snippy because I need to learn how to effectively handle many people trying to talk to me at once and be calm about it. So I got past the whole one person wanting me and being chill with that I just need to get better.

Things Learned:
The value of listening: Someone recently asked me why I get the opportunities I do. One reason I think I do is because I know when to not run my mouth. Sometimes you just need to shut-up and do what you are told without expressing feedback of your own. I am not always the best with it but I'm getting there. Honestly in Boston, I did this out of fear. I really don't know what to say to adults or leaders of our district. I was just happy when they talked to me and they knew my name. So that was pointed out to me. Good lesson.
Humility: Always a good thing to be reminded of. The quiet leader will gain so much more out of life.

So yeah Boston was awesome. I think it, in many, it was what I always wanted to do with the guys. Its kinda cool to look back on life. There was this one conference called daybreak that I was really upset about when I couldn't go. Honestly Boston was the experience I wanted through that. Boston was that and so much more. I am so glad I didn't quit after that whole situation. I am equally thankful for the Grace people gave me through that whole experience. Now I wouldn't change a thing.

Boston did show me another thing. The most important thing actually. I could do this stuff for the rest of my life. Even through the lack of sleep, the stress, and the little quirks it is worth every second to glorify Christ. The most important thing out of any of this rambling is how Christ was glorified by our work. The work of a whole team of people with humility and a love of Christ. The mere work of man being used to glorify a sovereign God is an awesome thing.

Boston

Well Well Boston is over. It's kinda depressing actually. You look forward to something for so long and then it is over in a heartbeat.

But it was AWESOME. I could not have asked for a better experience. I actually got the opportunity to go up a day early and set up and what not. We flew out of Buffalo into Logon which was pretty cool. The killer thing was our ride from Logon to the hotel was a limo. Awesome start to the week. The first night in Boston was pretty cool I had the opportunity to meet some really cool people. Doug Diven the current district superintendent as well as Tony Schivone, a really great guy that is a youth pastor somewhere in ohio i believe. We all went to dinner at Califonia Pizza which was cool. At some point in there I got to have coffee with Becky which was a long time coming and very chill.

Day 2- This was my main stress day. Student came. We had to set up all the computer stuff and pull off the first rally. It seemed I had about 3 too many people talking to me before the rally and they all were really important people on top of that. I think my only regret from Boston came from this night. I handeled it the best I could which wasn't extremmly well I admit. Just the last minute everything coming together was insane. I was so happy when it went off with only a minor hitch that wasn't my fault. After the rally I went out to eat at legal seafood with some sweet people and had the best steak of my life. It was pretty cool to say the least. Day 2 was the only early night of the week I think kev. and I finished the morning rally and went to bed at like 1:30 so that was nice.

Day 3- This was a pretty cool day. We had to meet for the morning rally at 7:30 AM, freaken crazy. The morning Rally went off without a hitch. After that me and Gortz went to lunch and went shopping while everyone else were in seminars. This was like the first real break I got so that was awesome. Later on we met about the next rally, put it together and then pulled it off. Again with out a hitch. (the guys from BAV rock) Then came thehungr/pillar show. AWESOME not only did joe give me a shout out from stage which was super cool, but I was front and center for both shows runing a live camera. I also had the benifit of 3 security guards protecting me and the camera. It was definitally one of the coolest things I have ever done. I can't honestly remember what I did afterwards I think it involved getting some mt. dew then heading back to the editing room where I remained untill 4:00 AM. Then I went to bed only to get woken up at 6:30 AM by Kevin. Ugg since when does anyone think i need an hour to get ready for sound check!!! (you will see this pattern later)

Day 4-Again really early morning. Rally went off with out a hitch. Then the editing began. Edited till lunch then went to lunch with kev. and beck. which was totally cool and chill as usual. Then finished editing. Took a shower and brought the DVD to the Rally for the night Rally. It went off really well and everone liked it. Sweet. After the rally we helped BAV take down which was super fun actually. After that I was invited to the exuctive staff reception thingy which was cool because I got a really nice compliment from someone who is wicked important. Then went to bed finally and slept till 9:30 when kev. woke me up. Then slept till 11:30 when Paul woke me up. Then slept till 1:00 when kev woke me up. Then slept till 4:30 when kev. woke me up. Do you think I should shut off my cell phone when I sleep??

Okay so that leads to the end of the conference. It was definitly one of the coolest experinces I have ever had. I got to work with the guys from BAV and they were absoulutly over the top in there skills and professionalism. I would recomend them for anything. I also got to work closely with some people I really look up to and that was really cool because we worked together, it wasn't like I was sub-class. I also got to have some really cool experience just having dinner with people. The whole conference is something I will never forget. I am having trouble compartmenalizing how much I learned and stuff.

After the confrence I stayed in Boston for an extra day and had the opportunity to spend new years in Boston. Awesome. Early the next morning we flew back to buffalo and I went to the Sabres game. That was prety sweet as well.

Look for more of what I learned in Boston. I just can't process it right now.